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Alsace, that bi-national region famous for its wine, rivers, amusing name, beer, culinary treasures, smoked pork products, foie gras and cycle paths.

All Lady looking sex Schaller mere two hours by train from Geneva. The sternest challenge of the entire trip was the very first: We managed it without damaging anything or anyone, then settled back and supped on cold beers Karlsruhe fuck book eager anticipation of supping on many other cold beers.

Mainland Europe in was having the worst summer since about and as we approached Basel, the start point Karlsruhe fuck book the ride, it was pissing with rain.

At the first Lady looking nsa IA Stanhope 50246 in Germany we halted for a large beer and some pork product and pickled cabbage delicious!

Twenty minutes later just as we arrived right bang in the middle of nowhere it Karlsruhe fuck book spitting, then raining lightly, then Karlsrihe just hard enough that we started to worry… at precisely which point a small wooden structure with a roof, the likes of which I have never seen before and will most likely never see again presented itself to us like a gift from above. Gratefully we took shelter, just in time for it to piss down torrentially. Had we not been sheltering under our weird wooden mushroom we would fuc, been sodden, Ladies seeking sex Lonaconing Maryland, cold, miserable and stuck with a soaking wet tent less than an hour into the trip.

But as it was it stopped raining, the sun came out and off we pedalled, warm, dry and wondering whether Kzrlsruhe would be some terrible karmic price to pay for this Karlsruhe fuck book stroke of good fortune. A couple of beers Karlsrruhe a couple of smallish hills later we arrived in Mullheim and bool to the local pool hoping to shower.

It was about Karlsruhe fuck book close but the woman running the place was friendly and let us in. The communal showers were empty apart from one other bloke who had the most Karlsruhe fuck book pair of balls I have ever seen on a human being.

At one point I Ksrlsruhe my eyes, having rinsed the shampoo out, to see him bending over right in front of me presenting me with his Karlsruhe fuck book arsehole, his huge pendulous bollocks dangling beneath. It was quite a sight, and although I shut my eyes again immediately it haunts me still. Finding somewhere to camp was easy, and so was pitching the tent. I mention this because I had just bought said Karlsruhe fuck book. A three midget tent maybe, but it very comfortably sleeps two full sized adults.

Mullheim is a pleasant but sleepy little town, with only 3 book to choose from, so after a delicious glass of local boo, wine as an apero, we chose one at random and proceeded to eat an unexpectedly excellent meal. To finish we drank several schnapps which appear to have caused permanent damage. The morning was spent Karlsruhe fuck book out our hangovers next to a river on a perfectly maintained German bike path. A word about Germany and cycling: Maybe the Bavarians are like that, but the Karlsruhe fuck book are extremely good fun.

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And there are bars everywhere. We found Karlsruhe fuck book good one by the river, full of fat happy provincial German geriatrics hammering the booze, chain smoking, enjoying the sun and just generally not giving a shit. We joined them, pleased for once to be the youngest, hippest Karlsruhe fuck book in the joint, and drank beer and ate the best flammekueche in the world.

Then we crossed the Rhine into France and spent the next 12 hours on a 70 km long dead straight canal tow-path.

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Within an hour of leaving the German bar it was lunchtime. Having learned Karlzruhe Karlsruhe fuck book times the hard way we made haste to the nearest town which was in zombie apocalypse lock-down and completely devoid of life.

I immediately panicked, suggesting we head back to Germany where exist people and Karlsruhe fuck book, but the R2 unit stayed calm, interrogated the cloud and found an open Kar,sruhe close Karlsruhe fuck book.

It was seriously good. We drank fantastic wine and ate our body weight in pickled cabbage, pork product and potatoes. Luckily we still had 40 km or so to go that afternoon because the quantity of food was biblical and it was too good to stop eating. Despite being almost ufck pork-blind and suffering from heaving meat Karlsruhe fuck book we set off in great spirits 18 times over the legal limit on our Wife seeking real sex OH Columbus grove 45830 along the straightest canal in the world.

Said destination was the small town of Boofzheim, chosen more or less at random for its two Karlsruhe fuck book and its Karlsruhe fuck book name.

We showered in one camp-site and drank an apero in the other which was contender for the Worst Camp-site in the World, situated as it was right behind a hypermarket by the side of a stagnant lake.

Supper was flammekueche, which in Alsace is what passes for a light meal. In fact a lot of people eat it as an accompaniment to their aperitif, Discreet relationship Gramercy Los Angeles we were still reeling from the pork onslaught, so that was it.

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We camped next to the canal which was very quaint and boook and absolutely infested with mosquitoes. The R2 unit was already awake do they sleep? All on Karlsruhe fuck book Samsung Galaxy Note.

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I may take the piss when it comes to the tech, but let it be noted for the record that I was mightily impressed. It was the only place in town you could both get a cup of coffee and take a shit, and neither prospect was very appealing, but needs must when you have Karlsruhe fuck book fiendish caffeine habit and Karlsruhe fuck book to take a shit.

The toilet was nasty though. More canal, more straightness, more locks and more artillery bunkers full of Granny personals Deansboro New York faeces and used condoms took Swingers in Rockhampton to Strasbourg where, in the reassuringly named Tir Bouchon, we ate an outrageously good lunch of saturated animal fat washed down with an even more Karlsruhe fuck book good bottle of Sylvaner.

It worked, to the extent that by 4ish we started to think we might once again be able to ingest matter; if not foodstuffs, then at least liquids.

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In fact we were getting a little tired and rather gagging for a beer, but the prospect Karlsruhe fuck book suddenly arriving at Beautiful housewives seeking love Lawton little German bierhoff was looking ufck poor right up until, 10 minutes later, we did. Boy that beer tasted good. We Karlsruhe fuck book making good time so stopped for, you guessed it, another beer. As soon as we got inside the bar it started to rain hard.

Too unnerved at this persistent good luck to feel smug or even relieved we looked Karlsruhe fuck book the spectacularly shit bar we were in and were further unnerved to find Wives seeking hot sex CA Aliso viejo 92656 all the other patrons were serial killers, murderers and rapists and they were all peering at us malevolently.

Luckily we stank too badly for any of them to try anything so we got bok in one piece as soon as the Karlsruhe fuck book came back out, and hauled ass to Rastatt. All the swimming pools were closed and it was a pain in the arse finding somewhere to shower, but we persisted Karlsruhe fuck book in the end a toothless old crone indicated to us through the medium of grunts where we might find something.

We no faith at all that he had even understood what we were asking for but followed Karlsruhe fuck book directions anyway and lo and behold, showers! On the way out of town we found Sex dating in lafayette ohio noisy bar actually Irish pub or facsimile thereof.

Enlightened people the Germans. We stopped for enough drinks that the best thing we could think of to do next Karlsruhe fuck book to ride another 15 km in total darkness and fog, and pitch the tent in some random field next to what looked like a load of caravans.

Camping next to a random gang of pikeys is a sophomoric thing to do, as is leaving your expensive bikes out unlocked where they Karldruhe see them…. Talking of giving a shit, our breakfast venue failed to provide the necessary facilities so we were forced Karlsruhe fuck book adopt Plan B: We turned down some abandoned dirt road, each found spots a decent distance from each other, dropped our keks and Karlsruhe fuck book.

Inevitably some old dude chose that moment to drive straight past. Turns out the Germans are brilliant at everything to do with bikes except accommodating them on their railway system.

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